What it really is {infertility}

I get asked quite often what is ‘infertility’ so here is the medical definition:

Infertility is the failure of a couple to conceive and carry a pregnancy after trying to do so for at least one full year. In primary infertility, pregnancy has never occurred or has occurred and ended in pregnancy loss more than 3 times. In secondary infertility, one or both members of the couple have previously conceived, but are unable to conceive again after a full year of trying.

 

The cause can be any number or combination of things. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS), Endometriosis, MTHFR disorders, STDs, hormone imbalances, blocked fallopian tubes, low sperm count, poor sperm mobility or motility, and the list goes on……and on…….and…… well you get the point. And for some it is most complex because it is ‘unexplained’. For me that would be more frustrating that saying you have ‘XYZ’ and you have to do ‘123’ for the best chance at the desired goal. Still no infertility is easy.

So there is the clinical definition of infertility.

Here is what infertility is to me and the nearly 7 million other couples in the united states that are suffering from infertility.

Obviously I cannot speak directly for 7 million other couples but I have found in my conversations with other infertile couples that my ‘feelings’ on infertility aren’t that far off base.

Infertility is this literal emptiness in your home, your heart and your life.
Its a feeling of being betrayed by your own body. And a feeling of failing your husband.
Its a way of being just as sad for yourself as you are happy for your best friend who just announced she is expecting after just a few months.
It is a roller coaster ride of blood work, ultrasounds, ‘exams’, shots, pills, vitamins, phone calls, google searches, needles, inverted lines, OPKs, HPTs (usually a hate-hate relationship), tears, laughs, disappointments, thermometers, charts, and love.

So please the next time you hug a friend who is struggling to get pregnant refrain from saying anything along the lines of ‘I heard doggy style works best’ or ‘My husband and I just got drunk and did it’ or the ever famous ‘Just relax it will happen’. Because I promise you a few things:
1.) She probably really just wants to hit you.
2.) She most likely searched google and found some ridiculous article telling her to contort herself in the most ridiculous possible positions for sex and it would happen. Lets just say that stone has been turned……….every which way to Sunday……She has her own failed ‘book’ that would make KamaSutra wonder.
3.) Her reaction may be something like ‘Oh well lets hit the bar’ but what she is thinking is probably something like ‘Yeah I would need to get drunk to sleep with you too’. And believe me, she did the ‘drunk’ thing too. No dice.
4.) She would love to relax but in between taking her temp at 5 every morning, taking her pills and vitamins at 9 and giving herself a shot in the a** at 2 she still has to make dinner, work or run a business, keep house, do laundry, workout, go to the doctor, and find time to still connect with God, herself and her husband. Relaxation is neither an option nor a treatment.

Its a complex personal medical issue that bares great financial, emotional and spiritual stress on millions of couples in this country alone. Not one of those couples would wish this struggle on anyone else. Hug your babies. Thank God for them. Pray for the people who so badly want a child to love.

Until next time ❤ Bai

Step one……..find a clinic!

We have called about a dozen fertility clinics in Nevada and surrounding states and have found that most are about the same cost wise. $15,000 (yep you read it right fifteen THOUSAND dollars) for the IVF procedure.

And no guarantee.

And that is a hard pill to swallow. Especially for my very fiscally conservative husband (okay, okay he can be kinda cheap sometimes) But for once I had to agree. I had no idea where we could find an extra $15,000 on a gamble. So I began looking into the Attain IVF refund programs, better but still not 100% convinced that we would be able to make it happen.

We are now looking into possibly going overseas (maybe Barbados) for our cycle which could cut our costs by as much as 60%! No decision made yet but definitely checking it out so stay tuned!